Lot of Jokes
Joke of the Day
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"My name is Martin S. Johnson"
"What's the S stand for?"
"Nothing. The doctor dropped a noodle on my birth certificate."
"I wish we had brought the dresser to the airport with us."
"I left our tickets on it."
Son: Are bugs good to eat?
Dad: Let's not talk about it at the dinner table.
Dad (after dinner): Now, what's this about bugs?
Son: Nothing. There was one in your soup, but it's gone now.
Customer (to newspaper boy): Do you mind if I pay you in pennies?
Paper Boy: Of course not. Do you mind if I deliver your paper one page at a time?
"Hello, front desk, how much do you charge for a room?"
"Our rates start at $50 a day."
"Do you take children?"
"No sir, only cash and credit cards."
Patient: I'm always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning.
Doctor: Well, try getting up half an hour later.
Boy: There's a woman outside asking asking a donation for the new church extension.
Father: Give her a brick.
"My uncle got a new job at the circus. He's shot out of a cannon."
"Wow! How does he withstand the shock?"
"I really didn't know. We haven't found him yet."
"I'm sorry you fell down a flight of stairs."
"That's all right. I had to come down anyway."
Teacher: How do you spell wrong?
Teacher: That's wrong.
Student: That's what you asked for.
Salesman: Why do you want to buy 5,000 roaches?
Tenant: I'm moving and the landlord insists that I leave the apartment as I found it.
Father: Son, I'm a self made man.
Son: That's what I like about you, Dad. You always take the blame for everything.
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