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Evening News (noun) - Where they begin with "Good Evening" and proceed to tell you why it's not.
 
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Despair (noun) - When you double-space your essay and it's still not long enough.
 
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Coat(noun) - something you wear when your mother is cold.
 
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Irony(noun)-the opposite of wrinkly.
 
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Republican Debates (noun) -- A competition to see who can make a bigger fool out of themselves.
 
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Wikipedia (website) - the website teachers don't allow you to use because they're jealous that it didn't exist when they were your age.
 
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African-American Berry (noun) - The politically correct term for a Blackberry cellphone.
 
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I'm SO fat! (phrase) - I need attention. Tell me I'm skinny.
 
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Collection (noun) - An excuse to buy a bunch of worthless stuff that you already have too much of.
 
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Yeah, sounds great! (phrase) - I totally didn't listen to anything you just said so I'm just going to agree with it.